Inevitably as we grow up; time, situations, circumstance and a myriad of experiences leads to the creation of personas or using the language of Simon Goland‘s Right Livelihood Quest (which you should seriously look into by the way) “loyal soldiers.” And in my experience loyal soldiers is much more apt description.
In essence they are a protective element we subconsciously create for ourselves due to challenging experiences we’ve had that help us survive and get through those moments. They come in various forms and guises, and each is here to help and support us in a specific way.
Once they have been created they never really go away. Even if that situation or experience that created them doesn’t occur again in our lives. That loyal soldier will always be at our side ready to lend a hand.
They are aspects of the ego and as such want to protect us, keep us safe and ideally for them keep us within our comfort zone. This can be detrimental, especially as we transition into spaces of change and growth, stretch our boundaries, test our limits and try new things. After all they don’t want us to get hurt. They want us to stay small and stay comfortable.
Learning the voices of each can be a fun experience, as each persona has unique quirks, mannerisms and vehicles with which they express themselves. Being able to identify how they show up is also incredibly helpful for our own growth, self development and awareness.
Two of these loyal soldiers which we all have, are that of the Judge and the Critic. Although they sometimes enjoy working together they are two voices not one. When we start stepping into our space of power and owning our strength the loyal soldiers can become very loud. After all they want to be heard and make sure we stay small and safe.
However, it’s important to note we are the ones that keep the voices going. As soon as we give them even a single morsel they latch on, the inner conversations and downward spiral begins. The “what ifs” arise, the analyzing of the countless variables and directions a conversation can take go through our head time and again. On and on it goes until we’re so afraid or worried about this thing we tell ourselves it’s simply easier to forgo it all then step into that space of courage and push upon our boundaries.
It makes me mentally exhausted just typing it out.
Insight from my dearest sister Alison van Buuren has helped me completely shift the paradigm in how I interact with them…
Don’t feed the voices.
It can be that easy.
It may take a moment or two to integrate this practice. However, once we know what these loyal soldiers sound like and with practice it’s easy to acknowledge them and then say “no”.
During a recent experience I wanted to be seen and as such wanted to be more daring in my approach than I usually am. As soon as I was about to walk out the door the soldiers reared their heads. Quite a few joined in to let me know they disagreed and I shouldn’t do this. I acknowledged them, then took a single moment to tune in to my body and heart where our true guidance lies. They were alive with excitement sending me a clear “yes” to stepping out this way. I know my heart and my body will never lead me astray, so I walked out the door and have absolutely no regrets.
For weeks this has been my practice and it has become easier and easier each time. Now it has become a point of integration and habit. It has completely changed my perspective and how I move through my life.
Never forget you deserve to live the life you want to lead, to experience those things you want to experience and do the things you desire to do. No one and nothing has the right to tell you no.
Yet how often do we get in our own way of making that happen?
The beasts will always be hungry… but take a moment to remember it’s entirely our choice whether we feed them or not.